Color-Coded Elaboration Strategies

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Tomorrow, I will be meeting with some teachers to talk about ways that they can help students understand how to elaborate their narrative stories. Since many of the teachers in our district are working on teaching elaboration, I was sifting through some favorite posts. Last year, Anna Gratz Cockerille wrote a post about toolkits and included a chart showing the balance between action, dialogue, and thinking. I have also added description, and I have created a skeleton story, sequentially adding an elaboration strategy. I envision unfolding this story to students, gradually showing them the impact of adding carious strategies. I have color coded the strategies so that it's easier to spot the differences.

Action   Dialogue   Inner thinking    Description

A Skeleton Story:

One day, I went to the beach. I wanted to learn how to ride a wave. A big wave came along and I dove through it.

Adding Description:

One day, I went to the beach. I wanted to learn how to ride a wave. All around me, people were frolicking in the water. I watched three kids who looked to be my age run and jump through the crashing waves over and over. A big wave came along and I dove through it.

When I came up, the wave was rolling into the beach and my mom was standing and clapping. The three kids I had been watching were also clapping.

Adding Description and Action:

One day, I went to the beach. I wanted to learn how to ride a wave. All around me, people were frolicking in the water. I watched three kids who looked to be my age run and jump through the crashing waves over and over.

I walked down to the water’s edge and watched the three kids a little while longer. Curling my toes into the sand, I started talking to myself.  

She got up and walked closer to the water’s edge.

Then, I walked right into that ocean and into those waves.

All of a sudden, a huge wave came up.A big wave came along and I dove through it.   I put my arms over my head and sucked in a huge breath of air. Then, just as the wave broke, I dove. I bent my knees and went head down right into that wave! When I came up, the wave was rolling into the beach and my mom was standing and clapping. The three kids I had been watching were also clapping. One of them came over and gave me high five.

Adding description, action, and dialogue:

One day, I went to the beach. I wanted to learn how to ride a wave. All around me, people were frolicking in the water. I watched three kids who looked to be my age run and jump through the crashing waves over and over.

“Be careful,” my mom called.

“I will.”

I walked down to the water’s edge and watched the three kids a little while longer. Curling my toes into the sand, I started talking to myself.  

“The waves are really big,” Mom said from her chair. She got up and walked closer to the water’s edge.

“I know,” I said. Then, I walked right into that ocean and into those waves.

All of a sudden, a huge wave came up. A big wave came along and I dove through it.   I put my arms over my head and sucked in a huge breath of air. Then, just as the wave broke, I dove. I bent my knees and went head down right into that wave! When I came up, the wave was rolling into the beach and my mom was standing and clapping. The three kids I had been watching were also clapping. One of them came over and gave me high five.

“Do you want to body surf with us?” he asked.

Adding description, inner thinking, dialogue, and action:

One day, I went to the beach. I wanted to learn how to ride a wave. Maybe this will be the day, I thought to myself. All around me, people were frolicking in the water. I watched three kids who looked to be my age run and jump through the crashing waves over and over. How did they do it, I wondered. How did they just dive right through those waves. They are not scared at all.

“Be careful,” my mom called.

“I will.”

I walked down to the water’s edge and watched the three kids a little while longer. Curling my toes into the sand, I started talking to myself.  

You can do this, I said to myself. You definitely can do this. But in the inside, I wasn’t sure.

“The waves are really big,” Mom said from her chair. She got up and walked closer to the water’s edge.

“I know,” I said. Then, I walked right into that ocean and into those waves.

All of a sudden, a huge wave came up. I was scared. I knew that I had to time it perfectly or I could get really hurt. What if I missed? What if the wave crashed right over my head and spun me around? What if it...no more time for what if’s! A big wave came along and I dove through it.   I put my arms over my head and sucked in a huge breath of air. Then, just as the wave broke, I dove. I bent my knees and went head down right into that wave! When I came up, the wave was rolling into the beach and my mom was standing and clapping. The three kids I had been watching were also clapping. One of them came over and gave me high five.

“Do you want to body surf with us?” he asked.

I had done it! I felt like I could do anything since I had finally figured out how to dive through a wave.

Feel free to use these samples or tweak them as you see fit, but I'd love to hear if anyone experiences successes or if anyone has other ideas for helping elementary students develop elaboration skills.

Happy writing,